They Are Called Tree Frogs, NOT Boat Frogs

My mornings don’t typically start with a Puerto Rican tree frog dipping his toes into my cup of joe, nor do I spend part of the morning with my big butt perched on 3 inches of a sink counter top that is clearly not designed for butts, but that was how this particular morning started out.

I had just poured our coffee, the bacon was frying and I was unloading the dish drainer from the previous nights dishes. The Big Guy was checking the Wind Guru when a frog sprang out my dish drainer. It was big...about the size of Kim Kardashian's engagement diamond.  

     After skimming the edge of my coffee cup he launched himself off the counter and was on the move. It scared the bejesus right out of me and I screamed like a girl and scared the wind guru right out of Big.

     “What? What? What’s wrong?” he asked.

     “There’s a huge frog on the boat!”  I shrieked.

Puerto Rican tree frog or "Coqui" (some people say they are endangered, I say..."oops"

)

Ok, so we don’t call The Big Guy "Captain Obvious" for nothing... “well we have to find him and get him off he said.”  (I’m pretty sure there is a joke in there somewhere…Know how to get a frog off?  Nevermind.)

Next question: “Where’d he go?” Big asked me.

I say, “I don’t know, I can’t see him, I don’t have my far eyes in yet,” and so I go in search of my glasses as Big attempts to be the boss of me by hollering, “get your glasses on and help me find him!”

    Ahhh, now I see him and he has stuck himself to the side of the wall under the table. He hops up on to our new pillows. The dogs hop down. 

     This is when I hand Big a broom and tell him not to hurt him, to just shoo him out. I take my perch on the narrow sink ledge and watch while the frog herding begins. (I think of another joke...How many truck drivers does it take to herd a frog? Nevermind)

It should be noted here that a full sized kitchen broom is WAY to long to be swinging around in a small galley. It should also be noted that a tree frog can hop at least 10’4” straight up into the air, which means that unless you have baton-twirlling credentials you should not be trying to kill, I mean shoo a frog with a broom in a boat salon.  It’s like trying to stir a pot of soup with a scoop shovel.

The frog and pony show commences…dogs scatter, broom handle is constantly stuck up, under or against any and all surfaces, the frog is going ape-shit and the Big Guy is making little girl noises. It occurs to me that I need to get my camera because I see a blog forming.

Editors note: If you have ever been called a bleeding heart, have ever been accused of being oversensitive or if you are just plain squeamish, you should stop reading now. 
It's not to late.  
You've been warned.

“Wait, don’t kill him….let me get my camera and get some shots,” I say. Big gives me that look—the one that says I have two heads but only one brain. Then he backs off for a second and says, “I think he’s dead.” 
Don't be fooled by the picture above, he is NOT dead! Immediately after I snapped that picture he came out of his broom induced frog coma and hopped out into the cockpit. 

This is when I realize that he is only about half the size of the spider from a few weeks ago and that the big broom is overkill, so I hand over the little whisk broom and dust pan from under the sink I'm still sitting on and tell Big to escort him off the boat and into the nearest tree.
   

See the big broom? Over kill, don't you think?

So now the show has moved out to the cockpit and from my vantage point on the sink I see The Big Guy finally gets him scooped up. He says a few words that have "God" and some other religious connotations in them before giving him a proper burial at sea. Did I say burial at sea? I meant before setting him free, errr, umm, I mean putting him in a tree. 

 
"Frog bully," I say.

Question: How long does it take to get a frog off? 

Answer:  Just a little bit longer than it takes to cook bacon.

Yep, in all the excitement I burned the turkey bacon.

There will be no "Frog" recipes here, but I will share the one that I made that night; Orange-Maple & Balsamic Glazed Salmon.

My friend Melissa, on Free Ingwe has a Holland America cookbook that she got while on an Alaskan cruise and I did a variation of one of their recipes for Salmon with Maple Balsamic glaze.  I say "variation" because as usual I was short about 1/2 the ingredients, but I did have some orange marmalade that Mel had also given me, so I went a little wild with that.  I served it with Candied Ginger Couscous. It was lip-smakin' good ~ and we ate the whole thing!
     Go to the "Seafood" tab at the top of this page to get the recipe.