The Jet-Setting Squash

I confess — I have a little criminal bone in my body. About 15 years ago ,while dining at an Italian restaurant in Orange, CA, I did a bad, bad thing — I jacked a squash. This particular squash was a little orange and green Styrofoam thing that was part of a centerpiece on our table.

     My BFF, RK was an unknowing accomplice. She carted it right out of the restaurant—clueless that I was using her as my mule in the heist. The next day she found it in her purse and wondered how it had gotten there. We had a good laugh over it and I never gave it another thought, until a few days later, when I got home and was unpacking my suitcase. Yep, there it was, tucked in a corner amongst the dirty clothes. So began the story and the life of the squash.

     On our next rendezvous together, which was in Phoenix, I sweet talked the desk guy at our hotel into giving me a key to her room, where I tucked it nighty-night in her bed. Another time, when we met up in Las Vegas, I found it in the glove box of our rental car.

    RK really one upped me in Puerto Rico, when our room steward handed the squash to me just as we were debarking on a Caribbean Cruise. For the life of me I could not figure out how she had gotten it onto the ship. My brilliant daughter finally solved the mystery by declaring, “oh my gosh, she must be on the cruise too!” 

     Then about five years later it went on a Mexican Rivera cruise, where it was presented to me on my dessert plate, dipped in chocolate and looking good enough to eat. In fact the squash turns up in our food quite often. RK found it in her gnocchi, while dining at Oliver’s, in Sheridan, and then several years later it made it’s way back to Oliver’s and turned up in my pizza. This jet-setting squash has been to the Stone Crab festival in Florida and to wine tastings in Napa.
     My personal best passing of the squash was in Sorrento Italy, where it took all of my powers of persuasion to convince the chef of the 5 star Hotel that we were staying at, to serve it for lunch. It wasn’t exactly something that he wanted to send out of his kitchen, especially since we were there for a week of cooking classes. When the white gloved waiter removed the silver dome off of her plate and revealed nothing but the squash, RK about fell off her chair. The chef may have turned his nose up at my shenanigans, but I could tell that the waiter wanted to secretly high-five me, as he stood at our table wearing a tuxedo and his best poker face. 

     When our little squash isn’t turning up in our food, it’s quite often swimming in our drinks. The bartender in Negril, Jamaica looked guilty of nothing as he served it up in RK’s Grey Goose dirty martini—and on more than one occasion it has been seen lounging in one of our wine glasses.

     When it’s not in our suitcases, it’s hanging out in our houses. The squash has been left in her freezer, her bra (not while she was wearing it.), her desk drawer and her shower. I’ve found it in my shoes, my shopping bag, my coat pocket and my car. Our kids, husbands, friends and complete strangers have been recruited to occasionally help in the covert operation of hiding or transporting the squash. They have done reconnaissance work—allowing the squash to turn up in the least expected places.

     After all these years it is starting to look a little worse for wear. RK’s dog cut his puppy teeth on it, and it’s been frozen, cooked and wet. As of this very moment, the squash is perfectly happy hanging out in my produce bowl on my cutting board.

     But get this;  I really intend to one-up her in the end! (RK if you are reading, STOP here) The squash has been bequeathed to her in my will, in the event that it is in my possession at the...ummm, you know…the time. Now that would be the ultimate passing of the squash torch! 

This recipe is for Acorn Squash with Sun-Dried Tomato Polenta. I got it from my sister, who happens to be one of the four real life vegetarians that I know.  It makes a great side dish or a vegetarian entree. Go to the "Soups-Salads-Sides" tab at the top of this page to view it.