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Feb 23, 2014

Snake Farts: My Comfort Food

Comfort food. We all have our own idea of what it is. Mac and cheese, most likely. Maybe meat loaf. Maybe not. Chicken and Dumplins', probably. Snake Farts.  Definitely. Hands-down my comfort food of choice is snake farts!  Let me back up for a minute.

It was the 80's and smart moms were using that old parental trick called reverse psychology, to get their little darlins' to eat their veggies. Of course my little darlins' were always suspicious of me and didn't really trust me because I may have tricked them once or twice.

I know that most mothers will go to great lengths to get the kids to eat their veggies, right? Well I am not most mothers. Before you think I'm some kind of weird, dysfunctional mom, let me me tell you that I did put broccoli, zucchini, and mushrooms in front of my kids. Granted...most were served breaded and fried and draped in ranch dressing. 
     (Authors note: You gotta eat the breaded and fried stuff when you're young because someday you will grow up and turn forty and you'll crave a deep fried mushroom or some breaded cauliflower so you'll eat a few and then the next thing you know your butt looks like a double order of lumpy deep-fried broccoli. You know I'm right.)

But about my comfort food: I LOVE okra. Fried okra ~ it's my dirty little secret and I love it so much that I didn't want  to share it with the kids so I would deep fry up a batch of the stuff and then tell them that it was snake farts.  Brilliant, I know! There was no way that my little shits were going to touch MY fried okra.  I figured I'd still be silently laughing all the way to the cardiologist when I got ummmm, old. 

Well, The Know-it-all was always a pretty smart cookie. It took her only about a year before she caught on and one day tried a snake fart. Hates Everything ran screaming from the room every time I stuck a fork in a snake fart and pointed it at her. I didn't even know the kid could talk for the first ten years of her life because all she ever said was, Eeeeeewwwww!

Well one day she finally caved and tried a snake fart and guess what? Turns out she liked snake farts too and then both of them wanted MY snake farts.
     I'm not stupid. By now it was the 90's and I had read a book or two and I knew they couldn't possibly be very good for them so I kind of turned into a snake fart hoarder. I would send them out to play, fry up a batch and then hide them in the oven. When they were out of sight I'd be sneaking snake farts like a diabetic sneaks chocolate. You know its not good for you ~ it might even kill ya, but you just can't stop yourself. 

I have since passed that old age of  40 and I don't want a broccoli butt so now I resist and rarely eat snake farts. The only time(s) being when The Big Guy is dragging me by my hair, kicking and screaming to the Cracker Barrel for a 4PM dinner. I HATE the Cracker Barrel, but to reward myself for being a good daughter-in-law and going out to eat dinner at a place that doesn't serve wine, I  always place my order by saying, I'll have the okra....with a side of okra.

Today was a comfort-food-cravin'-kind of day...a cold, gray, and snowy Sunday. It was the perfect day to stay in my jammies all day, read, test some new recipes, drink cappuccinos, and eat some comfort food.
     The Big Guy came home and caught me frying up a batch of snake farts and wanted to know if I was going to make my Snakebite Sauce to go with them.  
     Do you want me to? I asked him. He did, which was kind of silly because I had no intentions of letting him have any of MY snake farts. I made the Snakebite sauce and caved in and we shared a plate of snake farts. I say "shared" because I let him have one.

We like our snake farts dipped in my Snakebite Sauce. Actually we like my Snakebite Sauce on a burger, or potatoes, or chicken....pretty much any sandwich or anything that's fried.

Make up a batch ~ it's only four ingredients: Mayo, liquid smoke, sambal oelek and Paul Prudhomme's Blackend Redfish Magic. It keeps for weeks in the refrigerator. The recipe is under the "Misc. Recipes" tab, but there are no specific measurements; just a mixture of the four aforementioned ingredients. (Note:  It should be a pinkish/red color, like the picture above.)

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