Hammerhead Shark Loses Wrestling Contest To The Dos Equis Man

Our good friends, the Dr. and Mrs. Lexus’ recently came to the islands to see us and while here Denny entered the prestigious Caribbean Iron Man Contest. Denny, who by the way is the most interesting man we know, (like a Dos Equis-slash-Renaissance man) intended to compete in the Sr. Citizens Class, but bad news for Denny—the judges took one look at him and made him compete in the “Under 40” class, which unfortunately cost him the title. He did finish with an impressive 2nd place, but only because his bum hip gave out on him in the Pull The Boat To Shore Contest, which then slowed him up in the Palm Tree Climbing Contest. What a disappointment it was for all of us. We are hoping he won’t have to have another hip replacement surgery when he gets home.

     To cheer him up, The Big Guy and I took the liberty to enter him in the Great Hammerhead Shark Wrestling Contest, off of Anegada. It was quite a thrill to watch him wrestle that big fish out of the water, onto shore, then finally into the back of a pickup, with just his bare hands. I am sad to report that he finished a distant 3rd, since his shark was only just a little over 9 feet long and weighed a measly 290 lbs. We think if Denny hadn’t been dragging that hip he wouldn’t have chosen such a small shark to wrestle. Better luck next year old man.

     On a brighter note, Karen won hands down the Power Shopping Contest. No one could even come close to her and her smoking credit card! Single handily she boosted the economy of Cruz Bay.

Karen, celebrating her
Power Shopping victory

     Coincidently, while in Anegada for the shark wresting, we learned that there was also a kite boarding contest going on which was being sponsored by Sir Richard Branson, who happens to be a close personal friend of the Lexus’. We hung out on Cow Wreck Beach and watched as hundreds of kite boarders took to the skies, Denny and Sir Richard among them. They finished 1st and 2nd, respectively but Denny turned down the honors so some young hippie kid could receive the half a million dollar purse.
     While Karen shopped, Big and I sat at the beach bar (bored to tears) with Denny and Sir Richard as they negotiated a deal in which Denny would purchase Necker Island. Sad to say that at the last minute it fell through. Sir Richard was not willing to part with any of the wild goats that inhabit the island. The Doc held firm…no goats…no deal, he told Sir Dick. Way to go Den!

The Dos Equis Man & The Mrs.

     With a ton of money burning a hole in his pocket, Denny treated us and the 500 or so kite-boarders to a lobster dinner at our favorite place, Potters By The Sea. The butter wasn’t even dried on our chins when Karen decided that we should pull an all-nighter and party with all the kite-boarders who where blasting Karen’s favorite rap music at the bar that was directly across from where our boat was moored. Denny, always a manshionista, put on his twin set (which is stylish in an old-folks-home-kind-of-way) while Karen rocked a hot little leopard mini, and then those crazy kids got down with their home boys. Big and I called it a night about 5 AM and I slept in until 6 AM, then got up to make breakfast, since Denny had requested a big one after all that partying.

Denny also took 1st place in the
Conch Blowing Contest

      With all the competition finally behind us we settled into a relaxing week. The Lexus’ kicked back while Big kept a Pisces Punch in their hands 24-7. Their ravenous appetites kept me at the stove for about 18 hours a day, but they appreciated all the fine dining so I didn’t mind one bit. I used my other 6 hours to do dishes, pour gin and open wine bottles. I swear those people never sleep.     
     Not everyone knows that Dr. L and the Mrs. are world renowned free divers, and that Denny still holds several records, some dating clear back to the 1950’s. Karen who is much younger, has set some of her own impressive records, mostly from stunts she pulled in the late 60’s, some of which do include diving. Big and I watched in awe as they ascended to depths of about 300 feet on a single breath of air. Denny had previously smoked the competition is this portion of the Iron Man Contest, so it was just another day at the office for him. Those two are sure full of a lot of air, so I was able to  catch a quick nap, while they made their dives.

     Before we knew the week was spent and they had to return to Wyoming, so the Doc could be there for the grand opening of his new business venture: Autopsies While You Wait. 

     But hey, good news...I just heard from Karen that they will be returning in May, this time with all the little Lexus’ in tow. Big and I can hardly wait for the games to  begin! Natalie and Nicole love to mud wrestle and camel fight, and Suzy, who is the thrillseeker of the family, wants to go up mast so she can do some high-diving. Son-in-law Joe loves nothing more than doing shots and giving tattoos to the in-laws, who insured us they intend to get some more training in while here.  Did I mention we can hardly wait?

Dr & Mrs Lexus strike a pose after the Iron Man competition

I will share my recipe for Nicoise Salad.  I made it with seared tuna for the energy starved Lexus' but forgot to take a picture. (It can also be made with salmon) In this picture I served it with chicken. Go to the "Recipes" tab at the top of this page to view it.

                                                      The Big Guy and I on Anegada