Bacon Is The New Black

Bacon is the little black dress of cuisine. It goes with everything and is as much as a must-have as the classic LBD (little black dress). Right now it is very chic and fashionable  and it is popping up everywhere and in everything from meatballs to muffins to mayo. Besides the obvious, eggs (boring), bacon is being paired with seafood, chicken, pasta, and vegetables. I think I even saw bacon-wrapped bacon on a menu somewhere, but then again maybe I was just dreaming. This bacon revolution makes me very happy because I have loved bacon my whole life. I love peppered bacon, sugared bacon, Canadian bacon, Italian bacon (pancetta), even Kevin Bacon. 

      Vegetarians are dying for the stuff too and they have figured out a way to make BLT’s using tofu, which is a sorry excuse for bacon. I know this to be true, because I know a couple of real life vegetarians and they made me a tofu BLT. The tofu was dressed up with soy sauce and liquid smoke and maybe some other ingredients, then fried up in a pan. It lacked that distinct smell of bacon while cooking, and although it looked like bacon (kind of) and tasted like bacon (kind of), it was thicker than I prefer and had a weird chewy texture, like what I would imagine to be the consistency of semi-cooked-thin-sliced whale blubber. My final thought on it was that tofu should be ashamed of itself for trying to impersonate bacon. Bacon demands respect, dammit!

    I am even happier to announce that bacon is out of the closet and so are bacon lovers. The only reason I, and probably millions of others even did the Atkins diet was because it gave us carte blanche to eat our weight in bacon. Every. Single. Day. I ate it guilt free at a time when bacon was considered taboo, not to mention carcinogenic. I did lose a few pounds but gained a couple of nitrate headaches.

     Now there is something called “Bacon Explosion”. You have to look at these pictures (above) to appreciate its subtle complexity, but I’ll give you a heads up; it looks like something likely to be cooking on the BBQ grill at a NASCAR race or at a reception following your cousin's wedding. (I’m talking about the one where your cousin is the bride and your other cousin is the groom.) Unbelievably, it is bacon seasoned with bacon seasoning then wrapped around Italian sausage, which has been layered with crispy bacon pieces. The whole thing is then rolled up, does a little time on the smoker and then is finally BBQ-ed. It just sounds sick and wrong and delicious! My money says that the real explosion here is your arteries.

     That heart attack aside, bacon in general has gone uptown. Vosges (the best exotic chocolates in the world!) makes an applewood smoked bacon, dark chocolate candy bar! It’s even salted. Three of my favorite things in one bite and worth every stinkin calorie. You know I just had to try it and now I'm a believer that bacon and chocolate love each other! 

     My best idea for that marriage would be redneck bacon meets haute bacon. The result would be Bacon M&M’s that we could buy at Walmart! Seriously!

     But there is more…I was thinking…if someone could figure out a way to infuse bacon in vodka and make a martini...so I googled it and sure enough, it has been done! This concoction gives new meaning to the term "Killer Headache". Think about it. After your Bacon Martini hangover you could have a little hair of the dog with a Bacon Bloody Mary then move on to a Bacon-politan for happy hour, followed by a nightcap of a Bacon-Tonic!  You could give up the Atkins diet for a liquid diet and still get to have your bacon and drink it too! 

    Ahhhh…Bacon….It’s what’s for dinner…and breakfast…and lunch…and happy hour!

This is one of my families favorite BLT recipes! It's Bacon, Linguine and Tomato, all lounging in a flavorful cream sauce, loaded with herbs and two cheeses. Our resident expert on pasta and cream sauces (Sierra) has been requesting this dish for over ten years. The picture above was my dinner tonight and it was delish! Go to the "Pasta" tab at the top of this page to view it and then get in the kitchen and make it! Call me, I'll be right over with the martinis!