Fish Heads, Asian Farts and Pad Thai

I recently went to an Asian market in Denver (Little Saigon) and stepping through the door was like stepping into another country ~ a dirty Asian country, complete with flies and food that I couldn't identify. The place smelled like ass. (Did everyone in here just simultaneously fart? I wondered.) 
     And there were fish heads. Yes...a big bucket of fish heads and people were buying them. Why? I have no idea. I'm sure there are recipes out there but not one that I am willing to make. Pass the sushi please, but no fish heads. Ewwwww!

 
Near the fish heads was the meat counter and all it took was one glance and a whiff to get me to do an about face.  I couldn't even look at what was hanging there. I was afraid I'd be grossed out and never eat dog again. Just kidding!!! You know I love dogs. They taste like chicken. I'M KIDDING!!!  I love my dogs more than I even like most people and I'm saving a kidney for Elvis, just in case. Honestly I would chew my own arm off before I'd eat a dog. I'll just shut up now..........

Side note:  I should mention that I was in the store because I was on a quail egg mission. I needed them for my next cooking class, in which bacon is the feature ingredient. (Bacon. Bacon and eggs, bacon and quail eggs!) As we speak I have about eighty, yes 8-0 (crazy I know!) of them in my refrigerator. More about that later, but I will tell you that I have been loving up on quail eggs lately. 

But this is about Pad Thai....so while The Big Guy and I were browsing the aisles and aisles of food that we couldn't identity, I said something like, hey I should make Pad Thai.
     The Big Guy is a Pad Thai connoisseur and confession to make: I had never made it for him. I once sent him and Mikey on a Pad Thai grocery shopping mission here in Hickville, but since they couldn't even score the rice noodles let alone the tamarind paste or bean sprouts, my Pad Thai ambitions died a quick death.Think fish heads.

But here I was in Asian heaven, which by the way smells like hell, and I got the ingredients I needed plus a bottle of Pad Thai sauce just in case I screwed it up while trying to make a homemade version.
     Funny thing; I picked up a bottle of what I thought may be Pad Thai sauce but I couldn't read the label because it was written in Pad...or Thai...or something...but not English.  I asked the mean looking checker if the bottle in my hand was Pad Thai sauce. She spoke about enough English to tell ME to read the label.  Huh? We stood there, having a stare-down contest. A Mexican standoff with an Asian. Can that happen? Ruuuuuude!

Back in the kitchen at the Know-It-All's house I prepared to make this dish. I know that Pad Thai is typically garnished with chopped peanuts and most recipes don't call for peanut butter in the sauce but The Know-It-All and I made the executive decision to add peanut butter to our sauce, mostly because she adds PB to about everything.  It was a good call. 
     Don't worry if the peanut butter doesn't incorporate very well when you whisk it in because once it's heated up it will all come together.

The first night my sauce was a little too thick and didn't have quite enough bite. Probably because at the last minute I wimped out and added some of the store bought stuff to my concoction. 

A quitter I am not. The next night I tackled it again, this time adding some garlic chile sauce (sambal oelek for heat and flavor) and after some tweaking I think I came up with a pretty good version. My official taste-testers (Mike, Karen, and Big) were transported right to Thailand, minus the flies, fish heads and pigs blood.
 

I'm a sucker for the produce section so I also picked up some funky Thai and Japanese eggplant and some baby bok choy. I roasted it and served it on the side.

Don't be put off by the slightly long list of ingredients in this recipe....most are staples and it comes together rather quickly. I knocked this dish out after driving 400 miles, unloading a car full of groceries (and shoes), thawing out chicken and shrimp, and we ate dinner by 8:00 PM.  What did you just call me? Superwoman?  Into the microphone please!  

Ultimate Pad Thai (a combo of beef, pork chicken and shrimp) from Rhumb Lines, our favorite St. John restaurant is Big's most loved Pad Thai and it is the bar by which all Pad Thai that we eat, is measured. Here is a shot of their dish. ↓ Whatcha think?  Mine's prettier is what I think. Just sayin'.

The main thing to remember when making Pad Thai is that you want to taste sweet, spicy, salty and sour...in that order. The sweet being the sugar, the spicy comes from the chile sauce, the salty from the fish sauce and finally the sour is from the tamarind.  Adjust your measurements as needed to get to that order of  taste.

So if you live anywhere near a good or even a bad Asian market pick up some rice noodles, tamarind paste, palm sugar, then whip up some margaritas and try this dish at home. Click here, on the "Pasta" tab . It was pretty bueno! Olé!

Cooking 108 ~ Winter Squash

My sous chef and I tested many recipes before finally settling on the menu for the October cooking class.  

The Sous Chef...taste testing.

Here is what made the cut:

Butternut Squash Tart with Chile-Honey Drizzle

 Southwestern Pumpkin Soup with Toasted Cumin Crème

Lasagna Stuffed Spaghetti Squash

Acorn Squash with Sundried Tomato Polenta

Pumpkin Gnocchi Alfredo with Toasted Hazelnuts + Sage

Pumpkin Mousse with Amaretti Crunch
____________________

We started the night with a Pumpkin Patch Ale and ended it with Scott's Pumpkin Martinis, plus we ate all that food and finished up with a last minute Pumpkin Roll that I added to the menu.

Chef Scott, AKA the Gnocchi King knocked the pumpkin gnocchi out of the park. He quickly figured out the gnocchi board and he and Chef Lisa double teamed it. 

Here is a shot of the Acorn Squash with Sundried Tomato Polenta. That recipe is posted here, on the "Side Dishes" page.  Scroll down.....

Chef Vicki is prepping the Lasagne Stuffed Spaghetti Squash.  Ricotta and Italian Sausage in Marina sauce is about to go into those babies.  You can find that recipe here, under the "Pasta" tab...

Some of us working hard....  

Lisa and I had to watch these two guys like a hawk. Haney Buffet (Jimmy's brother) about screwed up the Pumpkin Alfredo sauce because Rich forgot to mention that there was cream in the recipe. Alfredo....Cream....who'd of thunk?

We had a great time and ate a lot of really good food. The Bacon class is next week. Details to follow!

The Gnocchi King

Cooking 107 ~ Gourmet Sandwiches

Last week we had October's SdJ Cooking Class and now I realize I never put up pictures or details of September's class....Jeez....Loser! So here it is.

Gourmet Sandwiches were the feature item for the 
September Cooking Class. 

Wait a minute....Disclosure  here:  I either have the shittiest camera ever OR I am the shittiest photog ever, (or both) but these pictures suck!  The food was good, ok it was pretty great and we hardly had any wine *coughbullshitcough* so I really can't understand why these pictures are so, well....shitty. 

 

Here was the menu:

Grilled Jalapeno Cornbread with Caramelized Chipotle Onions, Smashed Black Beans, and Cheddar 

Classic Croque Monsieur

Portobello Sandwiches with Roasted Garlic-Basil Aioli

Balsamic Roasted Cherries, Godiva Chocolate,

and Brie Grilled Cheese 

The Brie, Cherry and Chocolate Grilled Cheese. To. Die. For.

Here's Chef Vicki putting the finishing touches on the 
Jalapeno Cornbread Sandwiches.

Uh oh...we dug into the Portobello Sammie 
before someone remembered to take a picture.

That same someone forgot the take a pix of the Croque Monsieur, but it was really great. It's basically a gooey grilled ham and Gruyere cheese sandwich, topped with bechamel sauce and then popped back under the broiler until the sauce is bubbly and lightly browned. It's delish, so I'll post the recipe. You can check it out here or under the "Sandwiches" tab.

Some of the amazing chefs, taking a break after all that cooking.
Gawd they don't even look dirty and sweaty...they must not have really been in kitchen!

The Jalapeno Cornbread Sandwich with Chipotle Caramelized Onions can also be found under the "Sandwiches" tab.

Chef Lori doing her thang.

The Pumpkin Trials

I've been doing time. Hard time. In the kitchen with a bunch of stone-faced pumpkins and one adorable sous chef. You see, I decided to make "Winter Squash" (mainly the pumpkin) the feature ingredient in this months cooking class. That being said, my sous chef and I have been testing recipes and we've made pumpkin gnocchi no less than 54682 times in the past few weeks.

Here is my sous chef demonstrating how to make gnocchi. 
(and some random TV dude photo bombing us)

 I was beginning to think that gnocchi should only be reserved for the potato, but then the sous chef suggested that we roast a whole pumpkin and use it instead of the pumpkin in the can, which we had been using. She's a genius...that's why I pay her the big beaters...errr...I mean the big bucks. The texture from the real deal is a little thicker, meaning less flour, meaning more pumpkin flavor and fluffier dumplings.

The Sous Chef, taking her checks to the bank.

Moving on to pumpkin hummus ~ A roasted garlic and rosemary version was just so-so. One with cinnamon and all the typical pumpkin-y spices was predictable, and a cilantro-lime version was just OK.  I'm of the opinion that pumpkin shouldn't go in hummus unless you are out of garbanzo beans and about a million other ingredients, so pass on the hummus and go directly to pumpkin soup.

Here's a shot of my Southwestern Pumpkin Soup 

with Toasted Cumin Creme, White Cheddar,

and Roasted Pumpkin Seeds.

We will be making this at Tuesdays class.

Next I got on a pumpkin Alfredo kick. I tried it first on fettuccine but liked it best on the gnocchi with some toasted hazelnuts and a drizzle of hazelnut oil. We recruited Hates Everything as a taste tester and she liked it so it's definitely going on the cooking class menu. No sneak peek here. It's in our bellies!
      Since I was already on the Creamy-Cheesy train to Fat-town I decided to try pumpkin mac and cheese. It wasn't bad but if it's not broke don't screw with it, and since there is nothing wrong with the version that mothers have been making for their kids for generations, this was screwing with it. Under oath I would deny liking any fake cheese like VELVEETA, but let's be honest, you just can't beat that stuff for its creamy, melty goodness so after two attempts, pumpkin mac and cheese won't make the cut...even though I did add bacon and toasted bread crumbs. *sigh*

Pumpkin Mac & Cheese...with bacon and toasted bread crumbs. 
It's just not good enough without Velveeta. There, I said it...into the microphone.

My sous chef and I also made a pumpkin roll 

and a pumpkin mousse, which didn't suck...

and a pumpkin beer bread that did suck.

 

The Pumpkin Roll.  

Pumpkin Mousse with Amaretti Crunch....it's on the menu!

I found the beer bread recipe on a blog called gimmesomeoven. I followed Ali's advice and wasted a good pumpkin ale on it, and not only did it not get done (cooked, baked, whatev) in the middle, it was as tough as an old shoe. I went back to the blog to see what comments the "other" bakers had made about the beer bread and it was filled with a bunch of gushing idiots saying things like, oh this sounds so good, I love beer bread, you're so creative, can't wait to make it, blah, blah, blah comments. Obviously not one of the twenty-four people who commented had ever made it, so I left Ali, from gimmesomeoven, a nice comment that said something like, (condensed version;) love your blog, made the beer bread, it stayed doughy and was tough as an old shoe, what did I do wrong? In other words I took full responsibility for the failure. And guess what Ali did? She frickin' deleted my comment!  Seriously Ali, you could have just said, I hear you suck as a baker, and I would have said, yeah, so what's your point? Or you could have said, I'm sorry your bread was shitty, mine was perfect, can I buy you a beer? But no. She deleted me!  I say, Ali if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. Have you ever heard that one before? Huh?
     I know that some people can't boil water and maybe I'm one of them. But if you put it out there, own that shit! Damn straight I will. But enough about Ali. Sous chef and I tend to gravitate towards people with an actual backbone.   

Anyhow, we got sick of pumpkins and then switched to squash. A butternut squash tart with fried sage leaves made the cut, butternut pasta did not. Lasagna stuffed spaghetti squash is in. Spaghetti squash in a bacon-tomato-fennel sauce...not so much.

Here's our beautiful tart!

So a few hundred pumpkins, squash, and dirty dishes later I finally have a menu put together for my next cooking class. It does involve a lot of cream and nutmeg and Pumpkin Patch Ale. Beer bread be damned!

Click on this link for the Butternut Squash Tart or this one for the Southwest Pumpkin Soup. If you want any of the other recipes let me know and I'll send them your way or put them up on this blog.

The sous chef...on payday!

Me and Bobby Makin' Bacon

If there's one thing I love more than Pig Candy it's Bobby Flay. Or maybe it's the other way around. Anyway, I had them both on my mind when I remembered that my Bobby has a recipe called Mango-Glazed Bacon, so you know what I was thinking.

I followed the recipe to the letter and good bacon is good bacon, whether it's coated in maple, mango, or manure, and I had some good, thick-sliced Applewood smoked bacon to work with.
     Because my mango was a bit under ripe and did not yield very much juice I was a bit underwhelmed with the results, making it clear that an over ripe mango would have made a big difference in the final taste. In fact the mango flavor was so not-there that I couldn't have picked it out of a line up, but what I could detect was just enough to know that this bacon could have been pretty amazing sitting along side a stack of Island Pancakes* so the next time I have a mango on the verge of going south I'll try it again.

While I was at it I mixed up some brown sugar and cayenne pepper and tried making some Pig Candy. I was hoping that it would be worthy of Cafe Genevieve, the original creator of this crack candy that I'm addicted to. It didn't happen...mine did not get as crisp, in fact much of the sugar coating melted right off.  I'm no quitter though, so I'll keep practicing and if I have to I'll eat the test pieces until I get it right. They weren't perfect but they didn't suck either.

And it looks good right? Well it was good because after all it was BACON!!! Thanks Bobby, love ya, call me, mean it!

The recipe for the Mango-Glazed Bacon is under the "Beef-Pork-Chicken" tab, if you want to try it the next time you have a really ripe mango that you need to do something with.  

* Island Pancakes...make your own pancakes and top with warmed Coco Lopez, chopped macadamia nuts and a squeeze of lemon.     

Bobby Flay's Twice Baked Potatoes

This recipe was really called Horseradish Twice Baked Potatoes, but I figured if I put that in the title some people would quit reading right there because horseradish is one of those love/hate ingredients.
     Personally, I'm not a lover of the horseradish and I can only take it in small doses. Like, I don't really want to taste it, I just want to wonder if that's horseradish that I'm tasting. So just a hint of it is a good thing. Ya with me? 

I know what you're thinking...her potatoes don't look anything like Bobby's. It's true and I'm a bit embarrassed to even show these pictures because my potatoes look NOTHING like my Bobby's beautiful puffed up, golden brown, nicely crisped spuds. I hate it when that happens!

     Mine look more like burnt, runny, weird tubers. ↑  ↓  See for yourself. 
 
I'm throwing Bobby under the bus for this. You know I make no apologies nor have regrets for cooking with a lot of butter and cream but I think the recipe called for (I can't believe I'm saying this) too much butter. Butter burns and I think that's why mine got more black than brown.

The other thing is, I think the recipe called for (I can't believe I'm saying this either) too much cream. I didn't even use all of the cream it called for and mine were preeeeety runny. Bobby did mention that the "potatoes should not be dry," but dude, should they be swimming in cream?

Anyhow, they were very good despite of how they looked.  Just a nice hint of horseradish, not overpowering and the skins were beautifully crisped. And see those pretty chives? I picked them from my herb garden  ~ the only herb (besides mint) that waited for me to come home, so I was happy to find a use for what remains of them.

Anyhow, the recipe is super easy and and it was tasty.  Just don't add all that butter and cream (There, I said it!) and adjust the horseradish to taste. You can find it under the "Soups-Salads-Sides" tab. I may have to ask for a do-over on this one....Thanks Bobby, love ya, call me, mean it!

Because I have an unusual fetish for Pig Candy, up next is my Bobby's Mango Glazed Bacon....mmmmm......stay tuned!

My Latest Addiction: Pig Candy

I said, "Lord, you can take me now. I've had what surely must be a taste of Heaven!" 
     I'm talking about Pig Candy. You heard me right...Pig Candy. If it's on the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet in Heaven I'm ready to go. Where does the line form?

Last week my friend Karen N. brought me a box of the stuff, which she got in Jackson from a restaurant called Cafe Genevieve.  Cute packaging, I thought as I opened the box, and then I saw that it was real bacon! It was ♥ at first bite. I dropped to my knees and prayed to the bacon gods that Pig Candy would would be fat-free. Well you can't have everything. 

Never, ever, EVER in my forty or fifty or whatever-some years have I ever eaten anything as heavenly as Pig Candy. I mean it...and I've eaten really good food in a lot of other parts of the world.
     (Side note:  Pig Candy could stop wars. If the Muslims would just stop being so sensitive about pork and would try a little a piece of Pig Candy all this hatin'-terrorism bullshit would come to a halt because they'd be busy wiping drool off of their beards instead of strapping bombs on their babies. But hey, that's another story for another time.)   

Ok, seriously...If you had asked me in the five seconds before I ate the Pig Candy what was THEE BEST thing that I have ever eaten in my life I would have said the seafood cannelloni in Sorrento, Italy. It was so amazing that we went back the next night and ate it again. I don't recall the name of the restaurant, but this ↓ is a dinner that I will never forget!

Or I might have said it was one of our more memorable recent dinners ~ the giant red snapper from our favorite restaurant, La Estacion in Fajardo, Puerto Rico. Four pounds of a tender, grilled, just barely out of the water, fish served with mango salsa, johnny cakes, and green papaya salad.  We won't likely ever love a snapper again like we loved this one. ↓

But never in a million years would I have to expected to add Pig Candy in Dayton, to that prestigious list. But I'm hooked. Pig Candy is my meth...or my crack or whatever it is that you get hooked on.
     So to avoid becoming a gluttonous-two-fisted-poke-it-down-the-ole-pie-hole-piggy, I hid the box from myself on a high shelf in my pantry. I knew that if I left it sitting on my counter only bad things could happen. 1) I may have to share it with The Big Guy; 2) I would eat myself into Hog Heaven or; 3) I may have to share it with The Big Guy. A definite lose-lose for me.

The picture above is what Pig Candy looks like on the flip side. It's all that brown and crunchy goodness of brown sugar and cayenne pepper that I assume makes it so damn good. The idea of making my own is now rattling around in my head since I am down to one piece. 

Confession to make:  I have now, on more than six occasions went to bed only to get up at an hour when most addicts are sleeping off their drugs, and have gone downstairs and rummaged in the far corner of my panty to get out that beautiful brown box, just to break myself off a sliver of Pig Candy.
     This is just crazy, I said to myself the other night at around midnight, when I was standing on a chair to reach it. So the next day I did what most junkies do. I gave my dealer (Karen) a hundred bucks so she could get me some more. A hundred bucks, you say?  Why only a hundred? Well it was because I didn't have an extra thousand laying around.
     If anyone one wants in on my stash when it gets here let me know. I can hook you up....but it's gonna cost ya, so bring cash!

My Sixth Date with Bobby ~ Another Killer Quesadilla

I swear, Bobby Flay must have me on speed dial! When he called me last week to try out another one of his recipes I was thinking, shit, not another quesadilla, but when my Bobby calls...well I fire up the grill because I'm his grill, errrr girl.
     
One of the things that put this quesadilla over the top was my Bobby's brilliant paring of  jalapeno and basil.  Jalapeno + cilantro = predictable, but jalapeno + basil = totally unexpected and unbelievably delish. It goes in the inside with a mixture of  Monterey Jack and goat cheese and then the cotija cheese goes on top.
 

But that's not what really made this dish so good. No...the thing that bumped this quesadilla up a notch was the Charred Corn Relish and I just happened to have some fresh picked corn that I had bought at a little roadside stand in Loveland. Charring the corn brings out its natural sweetness and if that isn't great enough on its own, the touch of balsamic vinegar and honey paired perfectly with taste of the grilled corn. Someone was seriously licking the plate!

Like my Bobby, I am an over-achiever so I went all out and made the (optional) Smoked Red Pepper Sauce too. Even though there was only a splash of the sauce called for on the quesadilla, it's a BIG sauce and the roasted sweet pepper and the smoky chipotle added one more layer of flavor. The three components of the grilled corn, the roasted red pepper, and the jalapeno-basil, turned this quesdalla into a party in your mouth. With fireworks!

For some reason Bobby seems to think that a quesadilla has to be three layers and I've been meaning to have a word with him about that.
     I say why waste the calories on that third tortilla?  Skip it. Go for more veggies and/or cheese, because the tortilla shell is just a vehicle to get the thing to your mouth, and I only need two. At the very most. Actually one tortilla and a fork and I'm there and I've saved a good 200 calories. Right?

But back to the recipe....don't make one without the other....the charred corn relish and the smoked red pepper sauce, that is. They neeeeeed to be on the same plate so unless you have a piano tied to your ass I say get off it and make them both. The good news is that you can make them ahead of time and if  you do, this dish comes together in a flash.

So pour yourself another glass of wine...you deserve it for making both and  being an over-achiever like me and Bobby.  If you don't love it I'll have Bobby come wash your dishes.  
      Thanks Bobby, love ya, call me, mean it! ♥

This recipe is under the "Appetizers" tab so go there to check it out. And by the way, this quesadilla kicked the Mushroom with White Truffle Oil Quesadilla's butt. Not just to the curb but out the front door, down the street and OUT OF TOWN! If you don't believe me ask The Know-It-All...she sampled them both and she knows, it all.  

My Fifth Date With Bobby

Yeah I might be just a little obsessed with white truffle oil. My daughter, The-Know-It-All shook her head and rolled her eyes at me the other day when we went to the movies and I pulled a bottle of white truffle oil out of my purse, leaned over and whispered, do you want some truffle oil to drizzle on your popcorn? Then she had the nerve to call me crazy when I pulled the Parmesan cheese out of my purse. Let me point out that batshit crazy or not, she passed me her bag so I could drizzle and sprinkle the goodness on her popcorn too. 

So when I see a recipe that says, "and white truffle oil", what I really see is something that has my name written all over it. Yes, I could be tempted to whip up a horse turd souffle if the recipe called for a drizzle of that liquid gold, so when I came across my boy Bobby Flay's Wild Mushroom Quesadillas with Red Chile Jack Cheese and White Truffle Oil, you know I was all over it!

So I cooked down a mixture of Shiitake, Trumpet Royale, Hen-of-the-Woods, Hon-shemeji and Crimini mushrooms. (Exotic mushrooms: one of the perks of living next to a Whole Foods☺) After re-hydrating the ancho chiles, Bobby said to reserve some of the soaking liquid and add it to the chopped anchos and the shredded Monterey Jack, thrus making it "Red Chile Jack Cheese."

Even though Bobby didn't tell me to, I dusted mine with a bit of ancho chile powder before popping them in the oven. Then I added the crumbled cotija cheese on top.

I baked them for about ten minutes and they came out of the oven nicely browned and looking like that. ↑ 

In my under-paid opinion Bobby skimped on the cheese a bit, so if you make these be more generous with the Monterey Jack than what the recipe calls for. The drizzle of rich, white truffle oil added on top elevated these quesadillas from decent to decadent.  Thanks Bobby, love ya, call me, mean it! ♥

Although this is under the "Appetizer" section of Bobby's  Mesa Grill Cookbook, The-Know-It-All and I had it as an entree. It's filling enough that it can go either way. If you aren't a fan of mushrooms skip this recipe, but do take your bottle of white truffle oil to the movies next time. 
     Click on the Appetizers tab to see the recipe.