Paisley's Wisdom

 Paisley ~ Four Years Old Today

I heard the little person sitting across from me in the Jacuzzi talking under her breath, saying the words  "possible" and "impossible," over and over as she ran a tiny brush through the fiery-red hair of a mermaid.

      And then, “Coco, it’s impossible,” she said.

I sunk deeper into the hot water, eyes closed thinking it was probably impossible to get a brush through wet doll hair. In my relaxed, semi-awake state I said, “Paze, nothing is impossible.”

She said,  "Well, Coco, if you think its impossible then just be impossible, because then it won’t be impossible."

          Obviously we were not talking about doll hair and she was giving this conversation much more thought than I was. I cocked an eye to see if I was still in the tub with a toddler. She barely glanced at me, instead she was focused on brushing Arial’s tangled, wet hair.

     (Re-read that sentence above. Let it sink in…I had to, and then I had to get out of the tub to write it down.) It’s not often I’m overwhelmed with a three-year old's wisdom but on this occasion I was.

I opened my eyes and said, "Wow that’s deep, Paze."

     Really, I was studying her to see if she had somehow morphed into a college student while my eyes had been closed.  

     But no. She was still thirty-six inches of adorable, soaking wet baby in a pink swimming suit with a wildly coiffed mermaid doll in her grip. She shrugged her tiny shoulders at me and said, "Coco, everything is not possible."

I said, "Paisley, everything is possible…do you want to be a ballerina when you grow up?"

     She said, "yes." Arial’s hair went into a ponytail.

     I said, "well it’s possible. You can be a ballerina. Or do you want to be a princess?"

     With a little thought she said, "yes," although Arial’s hair still seemed to require more attention than our conversation.   

     I said, "Well that’s possible too. You can be a princess!"

     Arial did a back flip off the high dive.

   "Well Coco," she said, giving me the palms up gesture, "what if I want to be a butterfly?"

I’m not one to blow smoke up a baby’s butt, so I just said, "Hey Paze, my sippy-cup is empty, pass Coco the wine, would ya?" (This is where my bite-my-lip-oh-shit-what-do-I-do-now face came in to play.) So I did what any savvy, smarter-than-a-three-year-old, self respecting grandmother would do...CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!!! I said, "hey honey, let me help you with Arial's hair...how about a braid?"

Here’s my truth: My heart explodes when I see her face.  When I hear her say, "Coco, Coco," about a hundred times a day it completely turns me into mush. She is a pint-sized package of delight and being with her is pure and simple joy, of which nothing else compares.

 

So this beautiful little person/princess/ballerina/mermaid/sous chef/unicorn lover turns four years old today and I am overwhelmed by how much space she takes up in my heart.   

 

Even when I crawl into that tiny tent with her and we sleep head to head, with her feet in my belly and her fist in my face, I love every minute of it. That little-bitty tent explodes around us with stuffed animals, dolls, dogs, and books,  just like my heart does. I love waking up and having the first thing I see in the morning be that sleeping face.  

I look forward to learning much more from her and to seeing life through her eyes. To watching her grow and to letting her perception open me up to the realization that wisdom does not always come with age. It sometimes comes in a small, really cute package and wearing peals.

As she turns another year older today,  I'm certain that every day spent with her will be a day that I learn, grow and love.

  Happy Birthday Paisley ~ Everything is possible!

 

 

Cooking 116 ~ The Corn Porn Addiction

The Corn Porn cooking class was nothing but good clean fun, peppered with a few dirty jokes, of course. Daughter #1, The Know-It-All, the one who has no filter on her brain, nor her mouth, was up from Colorado and when she's in the house it's a safe bet that certain things will happen:  1) she will say something to shock anyone who claims to be un-shockable  2) someone will blow liquor out of their nose, from laughing; Or from shock,  3) something with get broken, probably something glass 4) and when she leaves she will leave something behind (bra and earrings). Check, check, check and double check.

The Know-It-All and Connor, her old high school party til you puke drinking buddy.

Here was the menu:

We noshed on three kinds of popcorn, which I made just prior to class: a Sushi inspired one, made  with soy sauce, wasabi paste, sesame oil, ginger and wasabi peas; Buffalo Popcorn that I made by mixing some wing sauce in with melted butter and then tossed it with the popcorn along with blue cheese crumbles and celery slices and leaves, and finally a Brown Butter-Lemon-Sage.  This little corn teaser put us all in the mood. For corn.

For our appetizer course we grilled these unbelievably easy and delicious corn, zucchini and goat cheese quesadillas. The beauty of them is that the veggies all go in completely naked so very little time or prep is involved. Kind of a whan-bam-thank-you-ma'am quesadilla.
     The salsa, made with tomatoes and basil gets an unexpected kick from the jalapenos. Click here for the recipe or go the "Sandwiches, Pizzas & Quesadillas" page.

Chefs June and Linda, on quesadilla duty.
By the way, they are just faking it with the salt and pepper.

Chef Tom put a perfect sear on our sexy red chile scallops, which we paired with a charred corn salad. You can find the recipe by clicking right here or under the "Seafood" tab.

I'm already craving the corn fritters again. These babies were all corn...no dry corn meal filler here! We spanked 'em with a little Sriracha butter and served them with some blue corn fried chicken. The recipe is right here or under the "Side Dishes" tab.

My plan was to do something with grits, so I could cover all the corn bases. I made a grit pudding recipe that I found online, which was bland and boring and mostly tasted like hot grits. 

     On my second attempt I decided to show it some love by sweetening it up with some maple syrup and adding a heavy streusel topping. Since the calorie count on this dessert was already over the limit I threw caution to the wind and decided to top it some hot and steamy heavy cream and a generous drizzle of salted caramel syrup. Good call! Everyone was blown away by the fact that grits could be so naughty, causing them to roll their eyes and make their O faces. Need proof? We did not get ONE picture of the finished product because everyone was French kissing their bowls. Sick I know.

Chef Tom, multi-tasking: reading the recipe and stirring the grits

Chef Emily did double duty too, making the salsa and the streusel

Chef Scott - the Corn Porn King, showing off his big ol' corn salad.
Chef Vicki, spicing things up.

The Corn Lovers!

It was another fun night, thanks ya all for coming!

PRINT RECIPE:  Corn, Zucchini and Goat Cheese Quesadilla with Tomato-Basil Salsa

PRINT RECIPE:  Red Chile Scallops with Charred Corn Salad

PRINT RECIPE:  Corn Fritters Spanked with Sriracha Butter

Cooking 115 ~ Tex-Mex Comes to Town

Well here I am, two months late in sharing some recipes from our Tex-Mex Cooking Class. The Sauce du Jour Chefs knocked out some mighty tasty fare that night.
This was the menu:

Gringo Salsa with Homemade Tortilla Chips with Ancho Dust

This salsa is a wonderful combo of sweet, tangy and creamy goodness (from the avocados).

Click here for the recipe or go to the "Appetizer Page."

BBQ Onion and Smoked Gouda Quesadillas 

Served on a Bed of Baby Greens with a Tabasco Dressing

Cowboy Rib-Eye with Pinto Bean-Wild Mushroom Ragout

Topped with Red Chile Onion Rings and Pico de Gallo

Chef Tom, putting his touch on the Rib-Eyes

Jalapeno, White Cheddar and Pepper-Jack Biscuits

with Red Chile Honey Butter

OOPS...No Picture

Margarita Ice Cream

Toffee Tortilla Chips, Chocolate Ganache and Candied Jalapenos

When planning this menu I was determined to use jalapenos in the dessert and I was originally thinking along the jalapeno ice cream lines. Then I got the brilliant idea of doing a Margarita Ice Cream and using candied jalapenos. (This, people is why I make the big bucks. *wink-wink*) 

     The beauty of the ice cream is that you don't need an ice cream maker to make it...it sets up in the freezer. (The recipe is a variation taken from Nigella and tweaked for this class.)

     I brainstormed with my friend, Karen, who is a great baker, and we came up with the idea of doing a homemade corn tortilla chip, topping it with a toffee and a drizzle of chocolate ganache and finally some chopped up candied jalapenos.

     I have to tell you that is was nothing short of AMAZING! Really. And I'm not a Margarita drinker or an ice cream eater, but this was THE BOMB! 

Click here or go to the "Desserts" page for the recipe.

Note: If you don't want to go to the trouble of making the chips, toffee and ganache, make the ice cream and use store bought bought corn tortilla chips, toffee and chocolate.  Store bought toffee and chocolate won't set up like ours did, but you'll still get the idea. 

Thanks again to Kitt for all the great pix!

 

Gringo Salsa

PRINT RECIPE:  Gringo Salsa and Homemade Tortilla Chips with Ancho Dust

PRINT RECIPE: Margarita Ice Cream, Toffee Tortilla Chips, Chocolate Ganache and Candied Jalapenos

Say It With Me: Salmon en Papillote

If you get home late and want to make a tasty, quick dinner ~ or if you need to pull together something impressive looking for a last minute dinner party, I'm here to rescue you with these three little words...Say it with me: Salmon en Papillote. Can't say it?  It's Salmon - ah - pah-pee-yoht. Sounds fancy huh? (Papillote is really just a snooty French word for Parchment Paper)

      QUICK RANT COMING: And for those of you who like to pronounce the "L" in salmon, let me sugar coat this for you ~ you just sound like an idiot, or a redneck! Or both. Stop doing it! There is no "L" in SALMON. It's sa-mon, not sal-mon. Do you say the "S" in island? Probably not, unless you have only a 6th grade education.  Do you say the "L" in chalk? No. I didn't think so, so don't say it in salmon. Take note, the double "ll's" in "papillote" are silent too. Are we clear here?

A beautiful piece of wild caught Alaskan Salmon

Back to saving your bacon....The other night I got home late and was digging through the refrigerator and found some asparagus, leeks, lemons and little fennel so I pulled a couple of pieces of salmon out of the freezer, thawed them in about ten minutes in bowl of cool water, and bam! in fifteen minutes we were having salmon en papillote for dinner.

Before it went into the oven

The beauty of this dish is that you can really use any kind of fish and whatever veggies and herbs you have on hand. Zucchini, carrots, ginger, snow peas, green onions, tomatoes, shallots, dill, mint, basil, bay leaf, parsley...the possibilities are endless. Not all of those at once mind you; pick out two to four things that go together; like peas and mint or tomatoes, basil and shallots.

Just make sure you cut the veggies in sizes that will cook at the same rate. Carrots will take longer than zucchini, so either cut the carrots in matchsticks or blanch them for a couple of minutes first. You get the picture.  (IMPORTANT NOTE: If all you have in your crisper drawer is radishes ~ order pizza. Radishes don't cook well and I've yet to find a wine that pairs with radishes.)

Sealed up and ready to go in the oven

Because everything is sealed up in a pretty package, the fish poaches beautifully in its own moisture, flavoring the veggies, while the veggies are lovin' up on the fish.   

Cut your parchment paper in a big heart shape. You will have a middle line (if you remember from grade school how you used to make hearts); then lay the fish and all the goodies on one side, close to the center line. Fold the other half of the heart over and beginning at the top (V-side) of the heart, begin folding it over in about 1" increments all the way around.

Bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish (allow 10 minutes per inch, max). I spank mine with a little pat of butter-love and then douse it with a good splash of whatever white wine I happen to be drinking at the time. Remove it from the oven, let it rest for a couple of minutes and then using scissors, make a cut down the center and open up your beautiful present. Dinner is served!

For a good example of how to cut and fold the parchment, click on this link.  A recipe is not really needed, but I did put one on the "Seafood" page, so click here if you want it spelled out.
Bon Appetit! That's French for "good appetite" or better yet, "enjoy your meal."

PRINT RECIPE:  Salmon en Papillote

God, Dogs, and Rock 'N' Roll

 Heaven ↑ Been there, going back

So we (my immediate family) are all in heaven. I’m not sure how we got there. Yellowstone finally erupted…a flood maybe? The Second Coming? We killed each other…who knows? But we are in Heaven.

And the conversation goes like this:

God:   Hey you guys, there’s a concert at the Pearly Gates tonight; who’s coming? I have front row seats and back stage passes for everyone! Oh…and free t-shirts. Did I mention that the beer and wine is on the house? And you know pets are always welcome here. So who’s in?

Most of Us:   Me! Woof! Woof! Me! Me! Duh!

God:   Great!  I just plucked a rowdy bunch of rednecks out of a trailer park in Oklahoma who said to count them in too! Oh, and I’m gonna throw in some Walmart folks for some good people watching. And did I mention most of your old friends will be there?  It’s gonna be a helluva party!

Me:   Hey God, does that concert ticket include a VIP parking pass?

God:   Of course my child, Valet parking for everyone!

Me:   Thanks God, count me and the pups in!

Son-in-law:   Nah not me. That time I went to Lynard Skynard they were just too loud. I think I’ll stay home and look for dog pee stains on the carpet.

God:   Suit yourself Son. Wait, did you say pee stains? Chihuahua pee stains? Hey, can we talk later? I got Hank Williams and Patsy Cline opening for Elvis and I really want to catch their act, but just so you know, I’ve been on the lookout for a new Pee-Pee Police and you might be my man! I need someone who’s willing to strap on a head light and crawl around on the carpet with a spray bottle of Bissell Foam Cleaner. You know, after all, Heaven is just one big dirty living room. Heh, heh, heh. So we’ll talk later...right?

Son-in-law:   Ahhhh, yeah sure God.  Elvis, huh? The King?

God:   Well, technically I’m the King here. Heh, heh, heh. Son, I gotta run. You just go on in search of a little doggie doo-doo while we catch a little pre-show Amy Winehouse. I just love that Rehab song!  I say no, no, no.  And don’t worry, you won’t really be missing out on that much. I mean Amy's good, but she's no Whitney.

     By the way, your family and the dogs—well, after ol' Waylon and Johnny Cash close the show they will all just probably go out for some BBQ—wait, scratch that, there is no BBQ in Heaven…that’s the other place. Heh heh, heh.  I’ll send the company jet to pick them up and they can all go grab some duck confit nachos, Copper River Salmon, truffle fries, and maybe a clean martini or two before they head off on that Alaskan Cruise.

Son-in-Law:   Alaskan Cruise? Well maybe….

God:   No…God no…don’t worry about trying to get the carpet cleaned before they leave. Relax, you are going to have all of eternity, that's plenty of time to clean 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 give or take, square feet of brand spankin’ new double-ply shag carpet. Plus—and you’re gonna love this—I've got twice that much Berber AND a new billion watt, three-way head lamp!!!! And for you buddy…I’m going to introduce you to your new best friend, Stanley.

Son-in-law:   Stanley?

God:   Steamer, you’ve heard of him haven’t you?  He was a BIG deal, back in the day. Fumes got the best of him. Anyhow, do you have ANY IDEA just how many Chihuahuas there are in heaven? A lot, I’m talkin’ A LOT.  Mexicans are Catholic you know. Do not pass go, go directly to Heaven. Heh, heh, heh.

     Anyway, you will probably be able to retire here as Major General Colonel of the Pee-Pee Po-Po. Chihuahuas will stand up and salute you for all of eternity.

    

Son-in-law:   But what about my fam….

God:   Your wife? Your daughter? Oh don’t worry about them. After that little Alaskan Cruise they are going over to the Jamaica side of Heaven. I heard they like old Bob. Marley. You know Bob Marley don’t you? Oh that’s right. Darn, you missed that show too! But hey, don’t feel bad. If memory serves me right…and it usually does, you found the Holy Mother of Mary of all pee stains on that night, while they were getting high…on afterlife…lighten up dude. This is God you’re talking to.  

Elvis Parsley-the "other" King.

 Just look at that face! ↓ I just LOVE this baby and I'm sure she loves us because she leaves us a little present every now and then.

Ellie Mae...my new "grand-puppy"

Author's Note: This is intended to be tongue-in-cheek humor about living life to the fullest and not sweating the small stuff. It's about enjoying time spent with my family and friends and not being hung up on crap that really isn't important in the grand scheme of things. In no way is this intended to be a jab at my son-in-law, whom I love and think is a good guy. This piece is merely a highly exaggerated account of his fierce distaste for Chihuahuas and dog pee. 
  

A Little Liquor + A Lot of Grease = Mad Flambé + Mad Husband

Filets topped with a Bourbon-Mushroom-Onion Flambé

I was all set to flambé for an upcoming cooking class; in fact for the past few weeks I've been flambeing the hell out of everything....steak, shrimp, pork, mushrooms, cherries, bananas ~ really about anything that landed in my skillet.

    So after several days of setting cognac, kirsch, rum, and Grand Marnier on fire, I was thinking that I had mad skills and there was not a snowballs chance in hell that I would accidentally torch the joint.  

My pyrotechnic skills ↑ at their finest!

Then one day The Big Guy walked into the kitchen just I was firing  a cherry sauce to drape on a pork chop. He saw the flames shooting up about four feet above my pan and kind of wigged out on me. My, "relax honey, I'm not wearing hairspray," did little to ease his mind or stop his stink eye from giving me the once over.

That's my baby...48 inches of my big, bad, flambé-ing machine!

He pointed out the fact that my hood probably hadn't been cleaned (professionally de-greased) in about ten years or so, which made flambe-ing a really bad idea, especially since my brand, spankin' new million dollar bathroom is located directly above my 24,000 BTU Wolf range. Really bad idea!

Flambé Shrimp in Congac

I'm not stupid. I did the math and realized that 10 years of grease build up + 1 cherry jubilee could = an arson investigation. Times that by 15-20 years, minus 5 off for good behavior and I was probably going to be a Depends-wearing-senior-citizen in sensible shoes, sans highlights, before I taught another cooking class.  Like I said....I'm not stupid! I put the 151 rum back in the liquor cabinet!
     But first I poured on the Congac and put a good burn on some 'shrooms for  a little Steak Diane. Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm! 

 The Steak Diane Sauce...in the making

I will get that hood cleaned soon and then do a flambé class so that I can share my pyromaniac flambé skills with my hairspray-gel wearing SdJ chefs. (Scott, Tom - you two are not lumped into that category) 
     It's gonna be a par-tay!  Grab your fire extinguishers and plan on coming.

Grand Marnier Flambé Mushrooms

Click here or go to the "Beef-Pork-Chicken" tab for the Steak Diane recipe and click here for the Grand Marnier Flambé Mushrooms.


PRINT RECIPE:  Steak Diane 

PRINT RECIPE:  Grand Marnier Flambe' Mushrooms

Cooking 114 ~ Spring Has Sprung, The Morels Are Dead

My May cooking class was A Taste of Spring, so I have been busy making dishes using all the wonderful spring produce I could get my hands on. Asparagus mostly, but fennel, leeks, shallots, radishes, peas, carrots, rhubarb and strawberries. I was thinking if I could score some fresh morel mushrooms I'd be in spring heaven.

Hates Everything sends me a picture of the↑ biggest,  fattest, prettiest morel I've even seen in years and asks, "Mom, what's this? They are all over in my yard."
"A gold mine!" I reply. "Pick em and save em for me."
"Can't, just mowed over them all. Hello? Mom? Mom, are you there? Is this another food emergency? Do I need to call 911 again?" 

Damn kids.
Here was the menu: 

Medley of Spicy Spring Vegetables

Grilled Lemon and Asparagus Pizzettes with Ricotta and Prosciutto

 

Fried Leek, Spring Peas and Artichoke Pesto Pizzettes

Messy looking, I know, but  remember, I'm working with amateurs that's how we like our pizza

Fennel-Leek Soup with Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche

Farfalle with Asparagus, Roasted Shallots, and Blue Cheese

Rhubarb-Strawberry-Mint Mojito Granita

My original thought was to make a cold asparagus soup, but since I was doing a spicy spring vegetable medley, which had asparagus in it, and a pasta with asparagus, I decided to nix the asparagus soup. Three asparagus dishes in one night would make everyone's pee stink for days and I just wasn't up for hate mail.
      So instead I decided on a hot soup, with fennel, leeks and potatoes. The recipe was from a 2007 Bon Appetit, which I changed up by adding more leeks and less potatoes. I also topped it off with a bit of creme fraiche. That, and the smoked salmon made it truly decadent.

Chef Tom, grilling the pizzettes

We grilled our pizzette crusts (small, individual pizza crusts) and grilled the lemons and asparagus. If you haven't tried grilled lemons you don't know what you are missing. If you can get your hands on Meyer lemons, they are perfect; sweeter with a softer skin than regular lemons. Since I live it Hickville and it's not Meyer lemon season, I went a hundred miles up the road and got me some baby lemons and although more tart than Meyers, they worked well.

Chef Kim....grilling the asparagus and frying up the leeks. 

I gotta tell ya, the grilled spring pizzas were wonderful! Everyone was a little skeptical about the grilled lemons, and also about putting peas on their pizzas, but they were great. Tom went a little crazy with the mozzarella on the leek/pea one, but we forgave him. Likewise with Kitt on the asparagus one. We all decided that too much grilled asparagus is a good thing.

The Pizza Nazi smiles for no one. So he said.

The soup was a hit even though a couple of the sous chefs, *coughKittEmilycough* don't really like fish but they rose to the occasion and tried the smoked salmon. Emily even had seconds...or thirds, but whos counting?

Chefs Vicki, Mary Jane and Brenda working the soup kitchen.

The pasta is a tried and true dish that I have been making for years. Roasted shallots, especially big roasted shallots are absolutely delish and stand up to the big strong blue cheese.

Chefs Kitt and Bridget, drinking cooking up a storm. Someone has to.

You can click here for the Fennel-Leek Soup or go to the "Soups & Salads" tab. Click here for the Pizzette recipes (or go to the "Misc Recipes" tab). Click here for Rhubarb-Strawberry-Mint Mojito Granita, or go to the "Desserts" tab. Definitely try the Mojito Granita. It's the best of both worlds, you can eat it and/or drink it.                                    
                               
                       Brandy, put those scissors down! Get a knife!

The Sauce du Jour Culinary Institution - Where every crazy chef gets a sharp knife.

*Most of photos taken by SdJ brilliant photog, Kitt*


PRINT RECIPE:  Fennel-Leek Soup with Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche

PRINT RECIPE:  Grilled Lemon Pizzettes with Ricotta and Prosciutto  

PRINT RECIPE:  Fried Leeks, Spring Peas and Artichoke Pesto Pizzettes

PRINT RECIPE:  Rhubarb-Strawberry-Mint Mojito Granita