Cooking Class 119 ~ Manly-Man Salads

With the holidays upon us there is a lot of over-eating and over indulging going on, so for the November cooking class I featured some salads.
     Disclaimer: I never said they were low-fat, low-cal, or even healthy. My only claim was that they would be delicious.  The plan was to make them hearty enough to satisfy the manly-man, but yet make them chick friendly, by either eliminating or reducing the protein and skimping a little on the dressing.
The menu looked like this:

Because I served the Asian lettuce wraps as an appetizer, I used endive as the vehicle. To serve this as an entree, wrap up this bundle of flavor in butter or Bibb lettuce.

This Southwest Chicken Caesar Salad was a big hit of the night. Instead of croutons we made mini pepper-jack quesadillas and stirred a little chipotle in adobo into fresh made, and the World's Best Caesar dressing.
     I made a Margarita marinade and put the chicken to bed in it overnight. It was agreed, hands down that it was the best Margarita chicken everyone had eaten. For the chicken, twelve to twenty-four hours of swimming in that boozy bath was akin to a pool party at the Playboy mansion. Breasts and booze with everybody chillin' all night? It was a chicken party! Do try this Margarita marinade...it made for really flavorful chicken.
 

The Tuna Nicoise is one of my all-time favorite salads. EVER! I made this every week on Pisces and it was always a favorite. Sub salmon, if you have a big, beautiful piece. Chef Tom did a beautiful job of searing the this tuna and even the fish haters in the group *coughKittEmilycough* rose to the occasion and admitted it was good.  Steamed potatoes, eggs, haricot verts, olives and capers tossed in a herbalicious-Dijon vinaigrette, keep this salad light, but with the bounty of ingredients it's still a complete meal.

 

The Ranch Steak Salad is as hearty as they come. Spinach, arugula and roasted red peppers are tossed with lemon juice.  We then pan seared filet mignons, sliced and plated on some toasted French bread and topped it all off with a Ranch/Horseradish drizzle. The flavors of this salad are bold and it's definitely dinner worthy.

For dessert I made Watermelon-Jalapeno Popsicles. I'll give ya a sec to quit laughing or blushing. Yes I know, they look like a couple of penises. Get your mind out of the gutter....they were Crayola molds. And they were dang good! Click on the links below or go to the "Recipe Index" tab at the top of the page.

PRINT RECIPE:  Asian Lettuce Wraps with Ponzu Dipping Sauce

PRINT RECIPE:  Southwest Chicken Caesar Salad with Pepper-Jack Quesadilla Croutons

PRINT RECIPE:  Watermelon-Jalapeno Popsicles

PRINT RECIPE:  Caesar Salad Dressing: The World's Best

WISHING YOU ALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

The SdJ Pink Party: Cooking for the Cure

October as you know (unless you've been living under a rock) is Breast Cancer Awareness month. This horrible disease has affected my own life and I have been a long time supporter of the cause. My sweet mother lost her battle to breast cancer in 2001, at the young age of 59. 
     Locally we have a wonderful foundation known as the Kelly Schreibeis Memorial Foundation, which helps folks in Sheridan County who are fighting the fight. I have been an avid supporter of the KSMF and have done fundraising for them in the past, so it was only fitting that I use my SdJ Cooking Class as another way to support this cause.

It was all about PINK, so I planned a menu that featured "pink food" for the "Cooking for the Cure" Class.  

Roasted Beet Hummus with Crudites

Buffalo Wing Deviled Eggs ~ Big question of the night; Where do you get pink eggs? Answer; Pink Chickens.

I have the greatest group of chefs who come to this crazy Culinary Institution each month. They jumped in wholeheartedly and gave generously to the cause. I'm happy to say we cooked pink, ate pink, dressed in pink and raised $500 for the pink!

Roasted Beet Pasta, in the making...

And now its fettuccine

Emily, the Pasta Maker

Chicken Boobies in a Pink Grapefruit Cream Sauce with the Beet Fettuccine

Salmon is my favorite pink food so I came up the idea to do a Salmon Slider. It was a big hit, probably the favorite course of the night.
     A swipe of Sriracha butter on the bottom of a grilled bun hits your tongue first, waking up your taste buds. Then the salmon; a meaty, slightly undercooked, piece of wild caught fish that's both fresh and moist. I topped it off with a tweaked version of a slaw that I usually put on fish tacos. It's cool and creamy, with the cilantro and lime fighting it out. You can find the recipe here or under the "Seafood" tab.

My second favorite pink food has to be shrimp, so I knew I had to incorporate it into the menu. I came up with the idea to do this Bloody Mary Shrimp Cocktail (S)hooter.  Being the official maker and taste tester is a dirty job, especially if there is vodka involved, but someones gotta do it, so it may as well be me. And some recipes require A LOT of taste testing, you know, to make sure I get it right. Got it right! I upped the ante for the final version by swapping the Grey Goose for Stoli Hot. Good call! We served them in spoons, which was a nice presentation and a fun twist on shooters.

Dog and Beth, on the prowl. They heard there was a shooter in the house.

Get the Bloody Mary Shrimp Cocktail(S)hooter recipe here or by clicking on the "Appetizers" tab.

Yes I know...this picture is just wrong on so many levels! Are you cold Scott? Is that a pistol in your pantyhose or are you just happy to see me? I have to admit it was a bit distracting trying to cook with him/her/them/it....

The Pink Ladies, hanging out in full support of the boobies!

We had a fun night, ate a lot of great food 

and best of all raised $500 for the KSMF! 

Here's a shot of the whole gang!

For more info on the Kelly Schreibies Memorial Foundation click right here.

I donate $1 from the sale of each copy of my book, When the Dust Settled, to the KSMF, so when you buy my book you are supporting this wonderful foundation.

THANK YOU!!!!

PRINT RECIPE:  Bloody Mary Shrimp Cocktail Shooter 

PRINT RECIPE:  Salmon Sliders with Cilantro-Lime Slaw

My South American Obsession

I am obsessed with these marinated potatoes!

This recipe was on the menu for our South American Cuisine Class. We served it alongside an Argentine Spice Rubbed Flank Steak with Roasted Colombian Hogao (hah-GEE-oh).

The Hogao is the red sauce in the picture above. 

Hogao is to Colombia what ketchup is to the US; meaning that it's pretty much eaten on everything
While traditionally its made by sauteing the tomatoes, onion and jalapeno until soft and broken down, I deviated from tradition and made a roasted version. Its faster, tasty and a nice accompaniment to the flank steak, or burgers or fried potatoes or about anything that you like to dip. 

So get yourself some cute little new potatoes and whip these babies up the day before you want to serve them. The longer they marinate the better, so make a big batch!
 
The Marinated New Potatoes recipe can be found by clicking here, or under the "Side Dishes" tab. The Argentine Spice Rubbed Flank Steak can found under the "Beef-Pork-Chicken" tab and the Roasted Hogao recipe is under the "Misc. Recipes" tab.

PRINT RECIPE:  Marinated New Potatoes

PRINT RECIPE:  Argentine Spice Rubbed Flank Steak

PRINT RECIPE: Roasted Colombian Hogao

Feminism: Making Pretty Little Girls Look Ugly

I just gotta come out from behind the stove for a minute and throw down my apron.

Listen, I'm not someone who gets offended. Ever. By anything. In fact I am so stinkin' sick of  all the god-damn touch-feely-everything-offends-me-so-don't-have-an-opinion-of-your-own-unless-it-agrees-with-my-opinion-because-otherwise-I'll-be-offended, lunatics in this country, that I CHOOSE not to be offended. By anything. Ever. Period.  In fact I firmly believe that being offended is a CHOICE. And I choose not to be.

This garbage that you are about to see is not only shocking, it's offensive and outrageous, and it's got my I Might Finally Have To Be Offended Meter, pinging off the charts.
     I'm mad as hell and I'm am physically sick and saddened for these innocent young girls who have been shamed and coerced into acting out this pathetic parody. It's goes without saying that these little girls didn't come up with this crap on their own. It's not child's play. It the work of despicable feminists who whine about objectifying women but who are doing that very thing to these little girls.
     Watch this video, if you have the stomach for seeing little girls demeaning themselves. Then go throw up. I did. We'll talk later. You've been warned.

CLICK RIGHT HERE to watch the most despicable video you've probably ever seen.
Are you sick yet?
I can promise you that these precious little she-bots have great-grandmothers who are rolling over in their graves right about now. And I'm betting that they want to reach out from beyond said graves and slap the hell out of the (dumber-than-a-box-of-rocks) mothers of these pretty little potty-mouths.

WHO DOES THIS? WHO? DO THESE CHILDREN REALLY HAVE MOTHERS, OR ARE THEY ALIENS? 

I'm a mother and I come from a long line of mothers, and I know a lot of mothers and grandmothers and I have never, ever met a WOMAN who is a MOTHER who would allow their daughter to be exploited like this. It's sick and wrong and unconscionable.   

Is this in the name of feminism? Is this what feminists look like these days? It seems so, which should cause any woman with half a brain to distance themselves as far as possible from any feminist who thinks that a 10 year old saying the c-word and giving the finger, is cute. Run, run like the wind!

I think it's worth mentioning that it was a guy who produced this video, which makes the irony even that much more sick.  These imbecilic  women (and apparently men) bitch about women being oppressed, yet that is exactly what they are doing to these little girls. They are using these girls to get their message across, which is oppression, because I can promise you that these foul mouthed little farts didn't come up with this idea on on their own. They were forced, subjected and maltreated, with is the definition of OPPRESSION.  

Mothers and Fathers who LOVE and RESPECT their daughters would NEVER ALLOW them to be DEMORALIZED like this. Whoever these women (and men) are, they have failed miserably as parents.   

The other real irony of this message is that these shock-jocks have used their babies as victims, all while screaming about how wrong it is to treat girls like...you know, girls. News flash. It's ok to be pretty. And smart. And informed, and able to take care of yourself without big government paying for your abortions and birth control.
     It's ok to learn how to use a weapon to defend yourself so you don't have to pee on yourself to try to stop a rapist, yet these moronic mothers think that if they just go ahead and tell MEN (i.e. teach their sons) not to "rape women" that THEY WON'T DO IT!!! They even have the stupid audacity to say that in this video. Since that works so well why not just tell the wolves in Yellowstone to stop eating the cute little bunnies and tell any serial pedophile to stop sexually assaulting children, or better yet, just tell his mother to tell him. Because, you know...it works. No! Pretty little girls, get a gun and make him pee his pants. That works.  

The women who are exploiting these precious girls in this video are the same women who are demanding that we respect girls. This is idiotic feminist logic at its finest: Demand respect for the ten-year old little girl with the foul-mouth but not for the 10 week old baby girl in utero, without a voice.

These disgusting women are an embarrassment to the species. I pray that that do not go forth and multiply again. 

I'll  get back in the kitchen now. Not because I'm a woman, or because I have a big mean man standing over me who expects breakfast on the table, but because I can. And because I want to.
     Now pass me the vodka, my coffee's getting cold.

Brazil ~ It's Not All About Soccer and a Bikini Wax

We had quite a spectacular tour of South America at our September Cooking Class, beginning the night with Brazil's favorite cocktail, the Caipirinha (ky-pee-REEN-yah).
     The Brazilians know their liquor, and the beauty of this drink is that numero uno: its simple. The other bonus(es) are that it can be as strong or as sweet or as tangy as you like. (The Brazilians like it strong and sweet!) Oh, and another tiny tidbit of info that I should mention is that one will kick your butt and make you think you that you could actually play soccer. (News flash: You can't. We are Americans and we pretty much suck at soccer.)

Put the limes and some sugar in a glass and muddle the hell out of it with a wooden spoon. Pour in the Cachaca (kah-SHAH-sah) and muddle it again while workin' on your samba moves. Fill the glass with ice and take a sip. This is precisely when you will probably make that it-hurts-like-hot-wax-face, so just add a bit more lime and sugar and get ready to lay back and enjoy. WOW, I gotta say, the Brazilians know their caca! And cachaca.

South America is a big continent and while we did hit on a half a dozen countries, I'm going to hang out in Brazil for the moment and tell you about the dish that was a unanimous favorite of the night: Moqueca; (mo-KEH-kah) otherwise known as  Brazilian Fish Stew. Don't let the idea of fish stew scare ya. There are no fish heads involved in the making (that's another country). Keeping it real, I used South American red palm oil. The Brazilians wouldn't dream of making Moqueca without it, nor should you. It's not only a healthy oil, but it is what gives Moqueca its beautiful red color. (You can get it at most any health food store, even the one here in Hickville.)

 

Moquea is an explosion of  flavors and textures. You get a mild heat coming from the habanero/serrano while the coconut milk imparts a sweet and creamy goodness. The tomatoes cook down and give this stew a  fresh brothiness and the fish poaches up nice and tender while the peppers retain some of their crunch. 

     This beautiful and tasty dish comes together in about an hour, which includes marinating and prep. Use a meaty white fish such as halibut, mahi-mahi, sea bass, or cod. Bite the heads and tails off some shrimp and throw them in the pot as well and make yourself another Caipirinha while you wait for the rice to cook and the stew to simmer. I prefer jasmine rice and I really love the fact that once you put the lids on the rice and the moqueca they are both ready to eat in exactly fifteen minutes.

Click here or go to the "Seafood" tab or the "Soups & Salads" tab for the Moqueca recipe. You can find the Caipirinha Cocktail recipe under the "Misc. Recipes" tab, or click right here. 

Next up I'll share the Argentine Flank Steak, some killer Peruvian Potatoes and a Colombian sauce.  In the meantime, I'm not finished lovin' up on Brazil! Now where's my soccer ball?

 

PRINT RECIPE:  Moqueca (Brazilian Fish Stew)

PRINT RECIPE: Caipirinha

 

Paisley's Wisdom

 Paisley ~ Four Years Old Today

I heard the little person sitting across from me in the Jacuzzi talking under her breath, saying the words  "possible" and "impossible," over and over as she ran a tiny brush through the fiery-red hair of a mermaid.

      And then, “Coco, it’s impossible,” she said.

I sunk deeper into the hot water, eyes closed thinking it was probably impossible to get a brush through wet doll hair. In my relaxed, semi-awake state I said, “Paze, nothing is impossible.”

She said,  "Well, Coco, if you think its impossible then just be impossible, because then it won’t be impossible."

          Obviously we were not talking about doll hair and she was giving this conversation much more thought than I was. I cocked an eye to see if I was still in the tub with a toddler. She barely glanced at me, instead she was focused on brushing Arial’s tangled, wet hair.

     (Re-read that sentence above. Let it sink in…I had to, and then I had to get out of the tub to write it down.) It’s not often I’m overwhelmed with a three-year old's wisdom but on this occasion I was.

I opened my eyes and said, "Wow that’s deep, Paze."

     Really, I was studying her to see if she had somehow morphed into a college student while my eyes had been closed.  

     But no. She was still thirty-six inches of adorable, soaking wet baby in a pink swimming suit with a wildly coiffed mermaid doll in her grip. She shrugged her tiny shoulders at me and said, "Coco, everything is not possible."

I said, "Paisley, everything is possible…do you want to be a ballerina when you grow up?"

     She said, "yes." Arial’s hair went into a ponytail.

     I said, "well it’s possible. You can be a ballerina. Or do you want to be a princess?"

     With a little thought she said, "yes," although Arial’s hair still seemed to require more attention than our conversation.   

     I said, "Well that’s possible too. You can be a princess!"

     Arial did a back flip off the high dive.

   "Well Coco," she said, giving me the palms up gesture, "what if I want to be a butterfly?"

I’m not one to blow smoke up a baby’s butt, so I just said, "Hey Paze, my sippy-cup is empty, pass Coco the wine, would ya?" (This is where my bite-my-lip-oh-shit-what-do-I-do-now face came in to play.) So I did what any savvy, smarter-than-a-three-year-old, self respecting grandmother would do...CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!!! I said, "hey honey, let me help you with Arial's hair...how about a braid?"

Here’s my truth: My heart explodes when I see her face.  When I hear her say, "Coco, Coco," about a hundred times a day it completely turns me into mush. She is a pint-sized package of delight and being with her is pure and simple joy, of which nothing else compares.

 

So this beautiful little person/princess/ballerina/mermaid/sous chef/unicorn lover turns four years old today and I am overwhelmed by how much space she takes up in my heart.   

 

Even when I crawl into that tiny tent with her and we sleep head to head, with her feet in my belly and her fist in my face, I love every minute of it. That little-bitty tent explodes around us with stuffed animals, dolls, dogs, and books,  just like my heart does. I love waking up and having the first thing I see in the morning be that sleeping face.  

I look forward to learning much more from her and to seeing life through her eyes. To watching her grow and to letting her perception open me up to the realization that wisdom does not always come with age. It sometimes comes in a small, really cute package and wearing peals.

As she turns another year older today,  I'm certain that every day spent with her will be a day that I learn, grow and love.

  Happy Birthday Paisley ~ Everything is possible!

 

 

Cooking 116 ~ The Corn Porn Addiction

The Corn Porn cooking class was nothing but good clean fun, peppered with a few dirty jokes, of course. Daughter #1, The Know-It-All, the one who has no filter on her brain, nor her mouth, was up from Colorado and when she's in the house it's a safe bet that certain things will happen:  1) she will say something to shock anyone who claims to be un-shockable  2) someone will blow liquor out of their nose, from laughing; Or from shock,  3) something with get broken, probably something glass 4) and when she leaves she will leave something behind (bra and earrings). Check, check, check and double check.

The Know-It-All and Connor, her old high school party til you puke drinking buddy.

Here was the menu:

We noshed on three kinds of popcorn, which I made just prior to class: a Sushi inspired one, made  with soy sauce, wasabi paste, sesame oil, ginger and wasabi peas; Buffalo Popcorn that I made by mixing some wing sauce in with melted butter and then tossed it with the popcorn along with blue cheese crumbles and celery slices and leaves, and finally a Brown Butter-Lemon-Sage.  This little corn teaser put us all in the mood. For corn.

For our appetizer course we grilled these unbelievably easy and delicious corn, zucchini and goat cheese quesadillas. The beauty of them is that the veggies all go in completely naked so very little time or prep is involved. Kind of a whan-bam-thank-you-ma'am quesadilla.
     The salsa, made with tomatoes and basil gets an unexpected kick from the jalapenos. Click here for the recipe or go the "Sandwiches, Pizzas & Quesadillas" page.

Chefs June and Linda, on quesadilla duty.
By the way, they are just faking it with the salt and pepper.

Chef Tom put a perfect sear on our sexy red chile scallops, which we paired with a charred corn salad. You can find the recipe by clicking right here or under the "Seafood" tab.

I'm already craving the corn fritters again. These babies were all corn...no dry corn meal filler here! We spanked 'em with a little Sriracha butter and served them with some blue corn fried chicken. The recipe is right here or under the "Side Dishes" tab.

My plan was to do something with grits, so I could cover all the corn bases. I made a grit pudding recipe that I found online, which was bland and boring and mostly tasted like hot grits. 

     On my second attempt I decided to show it some love by sweetening it up with some maple syrup and adding a heavy streusel topping. Since the calorie count on this dessert was already over the limit I threw caution to the wind and decided to top it some hot and steamy heavy cream and a generous drizzle of salted caramel syrup. Good call! Everyone was blown away by the fact that grits could be so naughty, causing them to roll their eyes and make their O faces. Need proof? We did not get ONE picture of the finished product because everyone was French kissing their bowls. Sick I know.

Chef Tom, multi-tasking: reading the recipe and stirring the grits

Chef Emily did double duty too, making the salsa and the streusel

Chef Scott - the Corn Porn King, showing off his big ol' corn salad.
Chef Vicki, spicing things up.

The Corn Lovers!

It was another fun night, thanks ya all for coming!

PRINT RECIPE:  Corn, Zucchini and Goat Cheese Quesadilla with Tomato-Basil Salsa

PRINT RECIPE:  Red Chile Scallops with Charred Corn Salad

PRINT RECIPE:  Corn Fritters Spanked with Sriracha Butter