One Bad Ass Reuben Sandwich

I really don’t know jack about the Reuben Sandwich, other than I’ve eaten a few in my lifetime. According to our First Mate, Haney Buffet (Jimmy’s brother) I made thee best one he has ever eaten. EV-VER, he said so, and he and Reubens are tight so he knows a good one when he meets one. He wanted the recipe so I figured I better share it with ya'll. 

I didn’t have any sauerkraut onboard and the store didn’t have any either, but I did have a head of cabbage that needed to be used up so I thought I would just make my own. I googled a few recipes and every one of them said you had to ferment it. Or can it. Who has time for that?  Not me, I wanted a Reuben for lunch. Today, not in a month. 

So I decided to make my own sauerkraut, reason #1 why Haney said it was the best Reuben, EV-VER! I used some apple cider vinegar, juniper berries, a little brown sugar....I also spunked up that boring old Thousand Island dressing with a little Sriracha sauce—reason #2 why Haney was still raving about it the next day.

     Bonus: it was quick and easy, didn’t stink up the boat for a month and no pressure cooker was needed.

My kraut was a little hardier than that wimpy, super sour, store-bought stuff, which was a good thing because it didn’t make your bread all soggy. It was a nice combo of sour with just a touch of sweetness. I used pastrami because I like it better than corned beef; plus it was on sale and there was no corned beef at the Harbour Market deli. The mild bite of the Sriracha was just the kick it needed to elevate this sandwich from just a Reuben to a Bad Ass Reuben. The Big Guy said so. And Haney seconded it.

Check it out under the "Misc. Recipes" tab. 

And yes, I did have Juniper berries onboard. Whatever possessed me ~ we'll never know.

A Christmas Miracle: Hates Everything Cooks Dinner

You know my daughter, the one I refer to as "Hates Everything" because she hates everything? Well wait a second...that's not entirely true. She likes plain pasta, jalapenos, ranch dressing, and buffalo wing sauce. And maybe one or two other equally healthy things, like cheese quesadillas or nachos.

 
Anyway she offered to make CHRISTMAS DINNER this year.
     "Who are you and what have you done with Savannah?" was my first question.  Savannah barely eats, let alone cooks but since we were only coming home for a week and then leaving the day after Christmas I really didn't want to deal with cooking a big meal and then having leftovers so it sounded like a pretty good idea to me. Honestly, I was practically bursting with pride to think that Hates Everything actually wanted to cook. Something. I told her that I'd buy the groceries so to get whatever she needed.

A few days before Christmas I asked her what she was making. At first she was all secretive about it.
     "I am not eating Ramen Noodles!" I reminded her.
I made her fork over the grocery receipt and that's when I saw that she had bought eight packages of cream cheese. I forgot to mention she does like cream cheese.
    So she told me her menu ~ turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, jalapeno corn casserole, sweet potato biscuits, relish tray, cheese ball...
     It must be a really big cheese ball, I remember thinking.

I know she won't touch raw meat so I was wondering how the turkey was going to get into the pan since she couldn't exactly just dump it out of a can or the wrapper.
      "Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked her, giving her one last chance to back out.
      "I got this Mom," she assured me. "You just make the gravy."

Notice the baggies on her hands

 The day before Christmas she called me and said, "So how do you cook a turkey?"
(Author's note: Seriously?) 
     "Put it in your roasting pan, you'll need a baster and then..."
     "I don't have a roasting pan. Or a baster. Can't I just cook it on a cookie sheet? And use a spoon?"
(Author's note again: Are you shitting me?)
     "And what about the ham, what do I do that?"
(Another Author's note:  How did I fail this kid?)

So I told her but really I was still curious about what she was doing with sixty-four ounces of cream cheese.

The Big Guy and I, along with Big's parents and sister showed up Christmas day to a nicely set table, a lovely meat and cheese tray, a relish tray with Ranch dip, and the mother of all cheese balls.

And because there wasn't enough cream cheese in the cheese ball she made cream cheese stuffed  jalapenos and a jalapeno and cream cheese casserole that had a speck or two of corn in it. It was delish! Her sweet potato biscuits were really good, maybe even better than mine and the turkey and the ham turned out great as well.

Maybe there is hope for her yet. 


Oh yeah, and the cheese ball was good too. You'll never guess what her secret ingredient was:  Ranch dressing and then a little more Ranch dressing!  I talked her into sharing her recipe. Go to the "Appetizer" tab at the top of this page to see it but be prepared to 1/2 it. Or 1/4 it. Or maybe even 1/32 it.
(Authors note:  "Shit load of Ranch dressing and Shit load of shredded cheese," are her measurements, not mine and are usually not found on most measuring cups.  Use your own judgement.  Just know it's A LOT!)

We had already eaten a good portion of it by the time I took this picture.

Who Died and Made Feinstein God?

Dianne Feinstein, you ignorant gun-grabbing bitch!  You fought for an Assault Weapons Ban in California in 1994 and then in 1995 armed yourself with a firearm and obtained a concealed weapons permit. Never mind that in 1995, in California it was nearly impossible for an average citizen to get a permit. You weren’t an average citizen though so you used your political status to protect yourself from the very same threats that you felt the rest of us weren’t worthy of needing protection from. Do you think your elite status makes you more special or better than the rest of us?

     Better question: just what in the hell makes you think that you have the right to take away our constitutional right? And when did anyone ask you to speak for us?   

Here is what I really think:  Feinstein is a washed up, senile, old hag who has the audacity to believe that the rest of us are too stupid to own a fire arm.  She has now introduced another bill to ban assault weapons.  She is calling it an “assault weapons” ban when in actuality it is her desire to ban ALL weapons and to disarm ALL Americans. 

     I would agree with dumb Dianne that assault weapons have no place in the hands of a mentally unstable person but this really isn’t about assault weapons because she is labeling all semi-automatic guns as assault weapons. Those of us who own guns know the difference and so does she, since she is a gun owner herself.  This just isn't about banning guns. It's more about another one of our constitutional rights being trampled on by hypocritical politicians. When the second amendment is gone which one is next.

     

When her own weapons ban bill expired after ten years she did nothing to attempt to renew it but now is exploiting the tragic Sandy Hook killings with her newly proposed weapons ban. She is an anti-second amendment activist and is forcing her progressive idea (that came two days after the Sandy Hook shooting) down our throats and wants to create a National Firearms Registry, which historically has been seen as a prelude to confiscation of firearms. For $200 per gun you can register your weapon(s) and then you get to keep it…maybe.
     I applaud her genius and as soon as all the criminals register and pay the proposed fee, the rest of us should sign up and do likewise.  I’m sure if she just asks the thugs nicely they will be lined up around the block to register because you know, murders, gang bangers and psychotic school shooters are going to want to keep their weapons. The woman's brilliance is noteable and I wish someone would have thought of this sooner. It most certainly would have eliminated the recent movie theater and school shootings. 

     Studies found that the Federal Assault Weapons Ban did not reduce or prevent violence. You can read about it here. Or here. The reality is that banning guns increases demand, therefore increasing sales (and/or production). It's a vicious cycle and it is happening right now. Just walk into any gun store and see what's missing from the shelves. Guns! It's because they are selling like nickel beer at a redneck reunion. 

News Flash Feinstein:  Each year more people die violent deaths at the end of a hammer or a baseball bat than at the end of a gun. Should we be registering Little League? You know those little shits are going to grow up someday and at least one of them probably won't turn his bat in.

This is what I really want to ask Feinstein when she wakes up from her coma:  Dianne, do you really think banning guns will keep them out of schools?  Do you really think posting “Gun Free Zone” signs work? The short answer is, "no," it does not and it’s been proven time and time again.

     If you want guns out of our schools then put an armed guard at the door. This country has plenty of retired police and military personnel who would probably gladly stand guard (even volunteer) at their kids and grand kid’s schools. Teach gun safety and proficiency and arm a school official, because then the crazy-depressed-didn't get no lovin' from his momma-drug fueled coward who wants notoriety won’t be targeting schools. Infamy will be much less obtainable, which is really his goal. 

Gun laws don’t disarm killers, they disarm law abiding citizens leaving them (and you and me) with no way to protect our home and our family! Ironically if/when we are unarmed and invaded, robbed or attacked the first thing that an unarmed person does is call for someone (the police) to come to our rescue with a weapon. The first thing an armed person does is reach for their weapon and then call police. I know in what order I want to have to make that call.

     If you don’t want a gun, don’t buy one and if you ever find yourself in a position that you need someone with a gun to protect you, call Dianne because she has one. Her DC number is (202) 224-3841 or in CA (415) 393-0707.   I don't want an arsenal, I just want one gun to be able to protect myself and my family if the need ever arose.

So Feinstein I suggest this: why don’t you crawl back under your rock with the rest of your crooked cronies until it’s safe to come out. You are going to need a place to hide because we law abiding gun owners aren’t forking over our guns. We’ll pop a cap in your ass before that happens.

And by the way ~ just wondering ~ who died and made you God?